Feb 24, 2012 8:46 PM
THE MUDDY ROCK & THE SHINING GEM
Things had been better or can I say great for this year so far. Through fights and cries, I'm glad we are better now. No more secrets. No more hideous moments among us.
I am glad I did not take the wrong move to ever leave him and live our separate lives. I did really thought of that not once, but many times. People might thought that we were happy back then but they didn't know the truth.
Surprisingly, I didn't thought of even sharing my relationship problems to anyone. I never really had any idea how to even start telling others about our problems. No matter how I tried to open up, I just couldn't bring myself to it. Basically, I just kind of kept things to myself most of the time.
Yes, my Facebook, my Twitter, my Tumblr, it seemed like as if I am one happy bloke living on this world. The truth , I wasn't. Forced, faked, smiles and laughs and jokes. What the fuck, I went through, nobody knew. I couldn't possibly just tell anyone of our problems, simply because, our problems would definitely, prolly well, would ruin your rep, my rep. It ain't easy to just swallow everything inside you. Its like putting a huge meat and trying to swallow it without even chewing it into pieces.
At the point when I needed him the most, he was never there. He said, he was but whenever I tried telling or sharing with him my problems, he would be angry. I have no idea why. When he was down, angry or whatsoever, I wanted to be with him, but he pushed me away. Harsh words.
I am not like any other of those girls who tend to swallow and forget all those things. My kind of person, if you feed me with those "food", I will "swallow" it and "eat" it all up. Just like my tummy, they do not really worked well enough, it would either stay in there for too long, or would just regurgitate everything out at once. And if you fed me with the same thing everyday, it would gradually, became a habit to me.
BUT all that was already in the past. I am happy that, we went through that unhappy trials already and that we scored God's tests given to us. I guess, there should be more of the tests coming up. We should be prepared to face little exams from the Almighty. Insyallah, if we passed it all, He will definitely "graduate" us to the next level. AMIN .
Ps: Just thought that maybe you don't know that I actually do love you inspite of all those annoying talking backs I did to you. (=
