♥fαяиίcнα яίcнίđαиίє♥

Jun 10, 2008 6:53 AM

didn't do much today..juz went out with my mom meet aunty grace.. put some money into a fixed deposit thingy..haix..as i was walking i saw somewan with a familiar face..from the back he just look like him..
i just hated it when i saw somewan hu look exactli like him from the back..o gosh! when is this stupid feelings will get over..its been one year seh!! Long enough for somewan to forget their relationship..
ugh!!
stupid guy!!why the hell must i suffer like this because of that guy..
if only i knew,i would haf and could haf avoid his existence in my life..
if only he knew, he has already silently killing me inside..
i shouldn't had even brought him into my life..
i should had just rejected his calls from the sstart..
i'm regretting it now..
i can't stand it any longer..sMiling and joking and laughing my arse off just to mask off my feelings..
it realli hurts alot..
and thanx to my mom,she kept on talking everything that reminds me of him..asking about him..thanx alot eh..
and thats the reason y i cried my arse off in front of her few days back..she dinnoe that i actualli still love him.. lotz.
nowan can make me happy
nowan can cheer me up
nowan can ever motivate me to do better in life..
just that nowan could ever make me that happy anymore..
except for my mom lah..
i juz wish that one fine day, i will be able to meet him along the streets coincidenttally and he will explain everything to me...that will make me feel alot better..
but..
to even haf a look at him in the face if i evr were to see him, i dun even think i haf the courage to look him in the eyes anymore...

p.s: i'm sorry to u guys..i know i've been showing of my sarcasm and attitude towards u guys,i'm just feeling troubled by what is bottling up inside me..i hate myself for being a cry baby over this small matter..i realli hate it..i hate myself for being stupid enough to cry over an idiotic guy..waiting for him for one year over..i'm truely exhausted by all the waiting for that one fine day to come by..
i'm tired/..
i'm letting it go..but again and again,i failed..
this time round,i had really tumbled and fell with a deep cut..
i can't hide the wound anymore..its badly exposed..and its already infected..
i juz hope i will get better...
and to that stupid guy called Aqil..thanx a lot eh..